Consuming Porn Will Make You Sick

According to the Journal News, which covers the Lower Hudson Valley in New York, consuming pornographic images may cause sickness. In story datelined Mahopac, we learn:

A local man is facing burglary and animal-cruelty charges after police said he broke into a barn Thanksgiving morning and spray painted three pet goats and left pornographic magazines behind.

The Boer goats - two males and a female - then got sick after eating the magazines, according to their veterinarian.

"They weren't the nicest magazines," police Lt. Brian Karst said today.

Let this be a warning: Do not feed your goats any publications other than The New Yorker and Architectural Digest, lest they have indigestion.