Fold the Tents Now

A definitive survey has predicted who will be the winner of the U.S. presidential election this year, so we might as well pack it up and go home. Why bother with the campaign, the conventions, and the commercials if the decision has already been made?

Here are the details of the impeccably scientific survey:

Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week, with each fan choosing either a Barack Obama or John McCain model, each of which represented a Presidential vote. (In 2004, the same promotion predicted a narrow GW Bush victory). And when the dust had cleared on Monday, one candidate emerged with a clean sweep of all venues. So please nod your head comically and whistle Hail to the Chief for ...

Barack Obama.

If presumptive presidential nominee Barack Obama wins the election in November, he will look back at the Goldklang Group’s “Bobblection 2008” as his springboard to the White House. Obama finished a clean sweep taking the Fort Myers vote on Monday night, to complete a six-city blanking of John McCain. Obama garnered 54.4% of the vote (500 bobbleheads), while McCain notched 45.6% of the vote (419 bobbleheads). The six cities represent the homes of Goldklang Group teams.

The junior United States Senator from Illinois started strong at Hammond Stadium and never looked back. The first 10 voters marked their ballot for Obama. McCain tried to rally late, but came up short for the sixth straight day. Four years ago, George Bush defeated John Kerry 53% to 47% in Fort Myers. The tally was nearly identical to the final national percentages.

"Barack the Bobblehead": Does that have the same resonance as, say, "The Great Communicator" or "The Rail Splitter"?

(Source: Deadspin.com)