Someone Is Searching for Your Burritos

There is a (probably) apocryphal story, dating back four decades or more, about the Reader's Digest, whose editors had hired a consultant to determine which of the magazine's articles were most popular, and how they could use that information to increase sales, especially at newsstands and supermarket check-out lines.

After researching several years of editions and sales, the consultant came back with a report that the most popular items in Reader's Digest were biographical pieces on Abraham Lincoln, human interest stories about household pets, tales of Cold War espionage, articles about Nazis, and first-person accounts.

To maximize sales, the consultant suggested, the magazine's cover should place this headline prominently:

"I WAS A SPY FOR ABE LINCOLN'S NAZI DOG"

This came to mind when I saw a Reuters report this week on the most popular Google search terms around the world. The dispatch, datelined Berlin, begins:

Internet users in Egypt, India and Turkey are the world's most frequent searchers for Web sites using the keyword "sex" on Google search engines, according to statistics provided by Google Inc.

Germany, Mexico and Austria were world's top three searchers of the word "Hitler" while "Nazi" scored the most hits in Chile, Australia and the United Kingdom, data from 2004 to the present retrievable on the "Google Trends" Web site showed.

Chile also came in first place searching for the word "gay," followed by Mexico and Colombia.

Reuters lists the top ten search terms (and the countries where they reign highest) as follows:

"Jihad" - Morocco, Indonesia, Pakistan

"Terrorism" - Pakistan, Philippines, Australia

"Hangover" - Ireland, United Kingdom, United States

"Burrito" - United States, Argentina, Canada

"Iraq" - United States, Australia, Canada

"Taliban" - Pakistan, Australia, Canada

"Tom Cruise" - Canada, United States, Australia

"Britney Spears" - Mexico, Venezuela, Canada

"Homosexual" - Philippines, Chile, Venezuela

"Love" - Philippines, Australia, United States

Pulling up the rear on Google's list -- as reported by Reuters and other sources -- were these eight search terms:

"Botox" - Australia, United States, United Kingdom

"Viagra" - Italy, United Kingdom, Germany

"David Beckham" - Venezuela, United Kingdom, Mexico

"Kate Moss" - Ireland, United Kingdom, Sweden

"Dolly Buster" - Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia

"Car bomb" - Australia, United States, Canada

"Marijuana" - Canada, United States, Australia

"IAEA" - Austria, Pakistan, Iran

Except for "Dolly Buster" (which was unknown to me but seems to refer to a Czech-born porn star popular in Central Europe), all of these key words are fairly mundane. Only in the context of where they are popular do they raise eyebrows.

As frequent readers of this blog know, there are some odd search terms that bring people here. Some are odder than others, and some become less odd through repetition and the formation of patterns. For instance, from among the last 4,000 visitors, there were a cluster looking for presidential candidate Ron Paul in various configurations:

ron paul, tom coburn
ron paul, thoughts on global warming
ron paul university of virginia
ron paul tinky winky
ron paul thoughts on gay people
ron paul satanic hand gesture symbol
ron paul opposes dadt
ron paul on gay and lesbian issues
ron paul minority gay individual rights
ron paul judaism
ron paul don't ask don't tell catholic
ron paul and dadt
ron paul "reading list"

This should be expected, given Ron Paul's high profile on the Internet. (By the way, it is now confirmed that Dr. Paul will be a guest on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on NBC on Tuesday, October 30. Check your local listings.)

Then there is another cluster of search terms, all of them focused on the male torso:

shirtless teen idols
shirtless students photos
shirtless rudy guliani
shirtless robert redford
shirtless ricky nelson
shirtless prince william
shirtless prince harry
shirtless pictures of ricky nelson
shirtless pictures of jeremy sumpter
shirtless pictures of daniel radcliffe
shirtless pics of jesse palmer
shirtless missionary calendar
shirtless male postings
shirtless malcolm frankie
shirtless lou taylor pucci
shirtless josh hutcherson pics
shirtless josh hutcherson
shirtless hunter parrish
shirtless dave
shirtless college students
shirtless blogs

Most of these terms are too specific to show up on Google Trends. Some of these, however, might rate a Google Trends report:

penis size report
penis size percent
penis size debate
penis size blog
penis length in vergina
older women and penis size

At least "penis size" without qualifying terms shows up there. (It turns out Australians are most interested in penis size, followed by Americans, Canadians, Britons, and Indians.)

A lot of readers like to put their searches in the form of a question. Either they are used to playing Jeopardy or they cut their web teeth on Ask Jeeves. Here are some of those questions, just those beginning with the word "is" (and not, so far as I know, dependent on what the meaning of "is" is):

is virginia an open primary state
is this the right way to say fish fry's
is sweeney todd appropriate for preteens
is ron paul gay friendly?
is joshua bell circumcised?
is josh hutcherson circumcised?
is jeremy sumpter circumcised'
is hunter parrish gay?
is harry potter circumcised?
is frankie muniz circumcised
is former porn queen jennifer wells evading taxes?
is cuba theocratic
is bob fosse still alive
has bob fosse been found?
is aaron carter circumcised?

Then there are just the inscrutable search terms -- some of them in the form of a question, some not -- that just boggle the mind. What were they thinking? What were they really looking for?

how to say the american national anthem in pig latin
homoerotic spelling bees
hayek et olim meminisse juvabit
10 reasons why frankie muniz sucks
mike huckabee "respects" sexual deviants
family bestiality
yiddish translation for underpants
what is it with judy garland and gays?

And, finally, there is this recent search, from a reader in Kenya:

pictures of circumcision in progress in uganda

Check back in a few months. This collection will grow and grow and the time will come to revisit the topic.

By the way, thanks to Vodka Pundit for linking to my recent post on Sir Ian McKellen's appearance on the Craig Ferguson show. That link has more than doubled my traffic this week.



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African History Lesson

There is an odd juxtaposition of sentences in an op-ed piece in today's Washington Post.

In "400 Years After Jamestown," Stephanie Robinson of the Jamestown Project and Cornel West of Princeton University write:

It is nothing short of remarkable that the sons and daughters of those who arrived in shackles now excel in the broad range of American life.

Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) is poised to make a legitimate, not merely symbolic, run for the presidency.

Striving to make a legitimate point about how things have changed in our country, Robinson and West also make an error of history and biography -- and geography, as well.

How? Senator Obama is not one of "the sons and daughters of those who arrived in shackles," although he certainly does "excel" in his own American life.

Barack Obama's father was born in Kenya and met the future Senator's mother when both were studying at the University of Hawaii in the 1950s. (Senator Obama's mother was born in Kansas.)

The African slave trade that sent the ancestors of today's African-Americans to this continent took place along the Atlantic Coast of Africa. Kenya, on the Indian Ocean coast in East Africa, was also the origin of some slaves, but those were bought and sold by Arab slavetraders and taken east, not west.

One might say that Senator Barack Obama is a "modern" African-American rather than a "historical" African-American. Modern, that is, in the sense of being or being descended from recent immigrants (although the Senator's father was more of a visitor than an immigrant, since he returned to Kenya after his son was born). Historical African-Americans, then, are those who can trace their ancestry to the Atlantic slave trade.

There are tens of thousands of African-Americans like Senator Obama -- recent immigrants (and their children born here) from Ethiopia, Ghana, Uganda, and other countries -- who are not descended from slaves that were brought here in the 17th, 18th, or 19th centuries. They deserve, like everyone, to be fully integrated into American society and politics. But that doesn't mean that their own histories and biographies should be misrepresented by those who should know better.

Karen Hospital Revisited

To my surprise, one of the more popular posts on this blog has been my collection of photographs of Karen Hospital near Nairobi, which I took a couple of weeks before the hospital opened.

In the Congressional Record this week, Representative Edolphus Towns (D-New York) pays tribute to the Karen Hospital, which he asserts should be receiving more attention from the MSM. (It certainly seems that the first new hospital built in Kenya in some 50 years would be newsworthy, especially since the project was completed largely using private funds and donations of equipment.)

Here is Congressman Towns' speech, as it appears in the Congressional Record of June 20:

KAREN HOSPITAL -- (Extensions of Remarks - June 20, 2006)
---

SPEECH OF
HON. EDOLPHUS TOWNS
OF NEW YORK
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
TUESDAY, JUNE 20, 2006

Mr. TOWNS. Mr. Speaker, a few months ago, there was an historic moment that was, sadly, underreported by the news media in this county and in much of the rest of the world. It is only recently that I came to learn of it and I wish to bring it to the attention of this House.

On March 31, outside of Nairobi, Kenya, there was a dedication ceremony for the Karen Hospital, which is the first full-service hospital opened in Kenya since the colonial era, before that country became an independent state within the community of nations.

Karen Hospital is located in the Nairobi suburb of Karen, which many will recognize as the setting for the movie, ``Out of Africa,'' which told the story of author Isak Dinesen, who used the pen name Karen Blixen, and who lived and worked in Kenya and wrote about that country and her love for it.

The opening of Karen Hospital has important implications for health care in Kenya and throughout East Africa. This state-of-the-art facility will provide opportunities for teaching health-care professionals--not just doctors, but nurses, administrators, orderlies, and others--who will bring their knowledge and skills into cities and villages across the region.

When Karen Hospital was opened formally, its chief executive officer, Dr. Betty Gikonyo--who received her medical education in the United States--made a speech, in the presence of President Mwai Kibaki, that reflected the pride and hard work of bringing this hospital from a mere conception to a full-fledged operating unit serving the people of Kenya.

Mr. Speaker, if there is no objection, I would like to place excerpts of the address by Dr. Gikonyo in the CONGRESSIONAL RECORD. Such a historic occasion deserves to be paid much more attention than it has so far received.

EXCERPTS FROM A SPEECH BY DR. BETTY GIKONYO, CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER, THE KAREN HOSPITAL, FRIDAY, MARCH 31, 2006

We have gathered here to celebrate a special day, which will form a milestone in the history of The Karen Hospital. 21 years ago a dream was born, nurtured over the years and now realized. Over the last 10 years we have gone through a process of feasibility studies, consultation, intense planning resulting in a business plan for the Karen Hospital. The search for a financier was not an easy one and it took us over 5 years to convince financial institutions that a medical business is a viable option. We kept on knocking at their doors. Nevertheless some doors were open. We received some offers from both regional and local banks. In consultation with our financial advisers opted for a loan in Kenya Shillings that could finance the two major components of the project which are including building and acquisition of medical equipment. Your Excellency Sir, please, allow us to thank the Kenya Commercial Bank, for believing in our vision and trusting the business plan of a local investor. Kenya Commercial Bank took the risk and proudly partnered with us in undertaking a project of this magnitude. To the KCB Board of Directors and Management Asanteni Sana. You have worked closely with in the formation of this project to see it conclude successfully.

Medical equipment are an expensive undertaking and we wish to recognize Philips Medical Systems Netherlands and Frescenius Renal Supplies of Germany who entered into equipment financing credit plans to enable us to equip the hospital with ultra modem state of the art equipment in all departments as Your Excellency has had an opportunity to see.

This has been achieved through hardwork, commitment and consistency of purpose by a team of financial consultants, medical consultants, hospital engineers and building and civil engineers and a dedicated contractor and sub-contractors. By following the clearly laid out rules we were able to import clear all equipment in good time for installation.

The hospital building comprises of 4 floors each with four wings thoughtfully planned to ensure all services are accessed with minimum effort and maximum convenience to our patients and staff.......

The Karen Hospital is a world class ultra modern health facility bringing quality healthcare not only to Kenyans but also to Eastern and Central Africa but beyond.

The 102 bed hospital serves patients with general ailments alongside specialized medical and surgical interventions. It has the newest ultra modern state-of-the art equipment, cardiac diagnosis, interventions and surgery, intensive care, kidney dialysis, Laparoscopic surgery, video Endoscopy and physiotherapy.......

[A] Hospital is however not made of building and equipment. Our most important resource is the highly trained and experienced personnel in all departments. Through competitive selection of the best qualified personnel Karen Hospital has been manned by the best Kenya can offer in all our departments both medical and non-medical. This includes our permanent staff as well highly experienced team of medical consultants who form the large panel of over 100 admitting doctors of different areas of specialization.

Your Excellency Sir, I am happy to inform you that we have been able to attend to 634 patients in our Accident and Emergency department. Some with major injuries including bullet assault cases and road traffic accidents. Additionally we have performed a number of surgeries, endoscopies and cardiac catheterizations and as you have seen a full wing of inpatients with varying ailments ranging from major surgeries to medical conditions are recuperating in our Sagana Ward. This confirms that Kenyans have already come to know, trust and use this facility in the last one month. We look forward to a full house in 6 months time. The performance so far has been very impressive and we are encouraged and grateful for the support Kenyans have given this facility at its inception.......

The City of Nairobi has been the hub of specialized medical services for the entire country as well as for the Eastern and Central Africa region. Indeed this has been realized in the month of March, as we have admitted referred patients from Tanzania (Daresalam), DRC Congo, Sudan (Khartoum), and Burundi (Bujumbura).

Referrals from the region not only is testimony to the high standard medical services available in Kenya but also affords us an opportunity to boost our inflow of foreign currency to enhance our economic growth. This is an area that can be expanded further by the establishment of highly specialized medical services in the private sector that would see greater number of referral from this population of over 100 million that forms the Eastern Africa community. We at The Karen Hospital has addressed this very specifically by incorporating in our hospital a cardiology program that spans from diagnosis to interventional non-evasive procedures and to heart surgery. We believe that more patients will be diverted from the exodus that sees patient travel to India, South Africa and Europe to seek some of these specialized services. As a new centre of medical excellence, we plan to market our services effervescently to the region and make Kenya a preferred destination for medical services.......

This will provide a forum for many to channel their energies, experiences, resources and to harness these positively towards our mission statement. I believe that many of us are cognizant of the benefits that come along with the integrated teaching and referral facility globally.

We at The Karen Hospital wish to compliment and be active participants in the implementation of the government policy of providing promotive, preventive and curative services. We believe there is room for the private sector to provide specialist tertiary medical institutions to compliment those existing in the government and indeed these are not in competition but rather in partnership. More facilities like Karen Hospital are needed in our countries especially in cities Like Mombasa Kisumu and Eldoret and also in the East African cities.

On behalf of the Board of Directors, Management, Staff of The Karen Hospital, may once again, thank you for joining us during this auspicious occasion.

In closing, allow me to quote Our Mentor and Teacher Dr. Sam Mwinzi, a renowned neurologist who is with us today and had this immortalized in our visitors book when he visited Karen Hospital, "May the portals of this magnificent edifice forever remain open and overflowing with those that seek better health as well as those that have the gift of giving it."

Karen Hospital Opens Near Nairobi

Kenyan President Mwai Kibaki was the featured speaker on Friday at the official opening of the Karen Hospital, described by the East African Standard newspaper as "a 102-bed private medical facility linked to his personal doctor Dr Dan Gikonyo." The Kenya Broadcasting Corporation reported that "other speakers included Health Minister Charity Ngilu who thanked President Kibaki for increasing her ministry's budget by 30 percent, the hospital's Chief Executive Dr. Betty Gikonyo and Deputy Chief Executive Mr. James Mageria."

Dr. Daniel Gikonyo, mentioned in the Standard's story, is a U.S.-educated (University of Minnesota) cardiologist who teaches at the University of Nairobi. Although he would be loathe to take credit, he was the guiding hand behind the Karen Hospital, the first new hospital built in Kenya since the colonial era. (Kenya gained independence from Britain on December 12, 1963.)

If you've seen the movie, Out of Africa, you know where Karen is -- it's the Nairobi suburb where Danish writer Isak Dinesen (Karen Blixen) lived and worked.

I had an opportunity to take a private tour of the Karen Hospital when I was in Nairobi in January, and I snapped a few pictures. This was the first time I ever had visited a hospital before it was open. Beds were still covered in plastic wrap and there was a pervasive aroma of fresh paint throughout the facility.

But nothing describes the Karen Hospital more than "impressive." It has state-of-the-art equipment, including MRI and CT-scan machines. It is especially well-equipped for treating diseases of the heart.

Here are a few of the photos I took while the hospital staff was preparing it for opening in January:

Main Entrance to The Karen Hospital



The Karen Hospital's Emergency Room Entrance



A CT-Scan Unit at the Karen Hospital near Nairobi



The Karen Hospital Has No Stairs, Just Ramps -- But It Has Plenty of Natural Light



A New Hospital Bed, Still Wrapped in Plastic



I'm Not a Doctor, So I Don't Know What This Is -- But It Looks Impressive, Doesn't It?



This Is a Nurses' Station



A Private Patient's Room



Another View of the Karen Hospital's Front Entrance