Showing posts with label Craig Ferguson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Craig Ferguson. Show all posts

Friday, July 01, 2011

'Beaded Curtain'

The other night, during his Tweets and emails segment, TV's Craig Ferguson naughtily coined a phrase:  "beaded curtain."

Well, he didn't coin it per se; the two-word term has been around for a long, long time.  What he did was add an air of mystery to it, making it a sexually suggestive phrase.

Shortly after the show signed off for the night, I signed on to Urban Dictionary to submit a new definition:

A vaguely sexual allusion intended to distract and confuse network television censors. Originally used by CBS late-night host Craig Ferguson on June 29, 2011, in response to a question posed by a viewer via email.

Geoff Peterson: "I enjoy a good beaded curtain now and again."
Craig Ferguson: "Go ahead, censors, look it up. We'll wait."
To my surprise and disappointment, Urban Dictionary rejected my submission.

I think that web site will come to regret this decision. "Beaded curtain" in this sense is going to begin to take root. The Robot Skeleton Army (the Craig Ferguson fan club, so to speak) has already taken up the cause of adding "beaded curtain" to the national lexicon:
Is Beaded Curtain a Thing?

If it wasn’t, it is now. Craig and Geoff’s conversation about beaded curtains got the RSA’s @doxieone1 inspired to come up with a fun poster.
Here's a link to that poster, which shows Geoff Peterson behind a beaded curtain.

I predict you'll be hearing the phrase "beaded curtain" before too long, and you'll titter when you hear it. (And maybe titter about it on Twitter soon afterward.)
Be sure to visit my CafePress store for gifts and novelty items!
Read my blog on Kindle!
Follow my tweets on Twitter! 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Gift Ideas for Cyber Monday

Black Friday is past.  It seems to have begun this year on Thursday, Thanksgiving.  Merchants are happy because their sales receipts for Black Friday 2010 have outpaced those of Black Friday 2009.

Increased sales of push-up bras and other lingerie items tend to indicate a recovery in the retail sector, and, reports Reuters,

Total retail traffic will have risen 8.7 percent to 212 million shoppers from Thanksgiving Day through Sunday, compared with the same period in 2009, according to the survey from the National Retail Federation.

Shoppers will have spent $45 billion online and in stores over the four days, according to the survey, which includes estimated spending for Sunday. That compares with $41.2 billion in 2009.

Spending per person rose to $365.34 from $343.31 a year earlier, NRF said.
Tomorrow, November 29, is the much-vaunted Cyber Monday, when workers return to their jobs from the four-day weekend and begin using their office computers to shop on line (the honorable ones only during their lunch hours), ordering gifts for themselves and loved ones.

In between came a new shoppers' holiday called "Small Business Saturday."  The idea of that one is that consumers should visit local mom-and-pop shops and buy things there.  Even government officials got into the act.  Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell, according to the AP, urged Old Dominion shoppers to patronize local small businesses.
The Republican governor says small business accounts for 98% of all businesses in Virginia, and for 75% of job growth.

He said doing your holiday shopping Saturday supports what he calls the "lifeblood of Virginia."
For my part, I visited four local businesses on Saturday:  Carter Mountain Orchard, The C'ville Market, McDonald's, and Walmart.

Lest you object that eating at McDonald's and buying things at Walmart betray the spirit of "Small Business Saturday," keep in mind that both McDonald's and Walmart started out as small businesses, respectively six and five decades ago.  And for those of you who found this blog post through the most pervasive global business of them all, Google, it's good to remember that the search engine giant did not exist even 15 years ago.

The best lessons about how small businesses succeed and grow, I suggest the South Park episodes "Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes" (Season 8) and "Gnomes" (Season 2).

That second episode contains a speech about free enterprise that would put Howard Roark to shame.  As Robert Arp writes in his book, South Park and Philosophy:
In the spirit of libertarianism, Kyle proclaims something rarely heard on television outside of a John Stossel report:  "Big corporations are good.  Because without big corporations we wouldn't have things like cars and computers and canned soup."  And Stan comes to the defense of the dreaded Harbucks:  "Even Harbucks started off as a small, little business.  But because it made such great coffee, and because they ran their business so well, they managed to grow until they became the corporate powerhouse it is today.  And that is why we should all let Harbucks stay."
In short, today's small business -- or even a yet-unrealized business concept -- may be tomorrow's behemoth, and that's good for consumers, for workers, for entrepreneurs, and for stockholders.

Looking forward to tomorrow, however, I would like to make a few suggestions for Cyber Monday purchases, whether something self-indulgent or something that will be a stocking-stuffer for St. Nicholas Day or gift under the tree on Christmas. (You may want to order expedited delivery if you're buying Chanukah presents. The Festival of Lights begins on December 1 this year.)

Let me begin by recommending the four best books that I have read in the past year.  Three are non-fiction, one is fiction.  I regret not having written full-length reviews of these books yet, but I may get around to it eventually.

By far my favorite book of 2010 has been Daniel Okrent's Last Call:  The Rise and Fall of Prohibition.  The title is self-explanatory but completely understates the rich lode of historical matter that Okrent has gathered between the book's covers.  I thought I knew the story of Prohibition, and I was wrong.  So many rich details had slipped my notice over the years, including the seminal work of Wayne B. Wheeler, the pre-eminent lobbyist for Prohibition, who basically invented grass-roots political organizing and direct-mail fundraising years before Marvin Liebman, Richard Viguerie, or MoveOn.org.

Neither did I know how the forces of Prohibition had undermined the Constitution by preventing for a full decade the mandated reapportionment following the 1920 census, because those favoring Prohibition knew that a Congress that more accurately represented cities, suburbs, and recent immigrants would be less inclined to support stiff enforcement of the Volstead Act and would be more inclined to move toward full repeal of the 18th Amendment.  As a result of the manipulation of Wheeler and others, the Congress elected in 1930 represented the same districts as their predecessors did in 1912, a clear violation of the Constitution.

What's more, Okrent did some digging and discovered no evidence for the widely-held belief that the patriarch of the Kennedy clan, Joseph P. Kennedy, was a bootlegger.  Though Kennedy had imported liquor legally at just about the time that repeal seemed inevitable, there simply is no documentary proof that he had imported illegal liquor during Prohibition.  The rumor that the senior Kennedy had been a bootlegger, and had built his family's fortune on that, seems to have begun sometime in the 1950s and, as Okrent points out, if any evidence had existed prior to that date, Kennedy -- who had many enemies in business and politics -- would certainly have been called out on it.

Another book of history that I really enjoyed was Jennifer Burns' Goddess of the Market:  Ayn Rand and the American Right.  Burns, who teaches at the University of Virginia, wrote a page-turner about the Objectivist philosopher and novelist's life.

That may be hard to believe, since the outlines of Rand's career are so well-known, given previous biographies and memoirs.  Somehow, however, Burns is able to keep the reader's attention.  As I read along through the book, I kept saying to myself, "I know what happens next, but I want to find out how it happens."

Burns was the first outside scholar to be given access to Rand's personal papers and library, and the result of her research is a highly readable yet informative chronicle, not only of Rand's life but of her influence on the American conservative and libertarian movements. 

Over the course of the past eleven or twelve months, I have had at least three opportunities to see Burns speak:  once at the Miller Center, once at the Virginia Festival of the Book, and once at a forum she assembled on the idea of "liberaltarianism," or the cooperation between libertarians and liberals in the public square.  On two occasions, I was able to interview her about Ayn Rand and about her book.

In the world of entertainment, it was my pleasure last month to see TV's Craig Ferguson perform his stand-up act at the Paramount Theatre in Charlottesville.

In anticipation of that show, I read Ferguson's own autobiography, American on Purpose:  The Improbably Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot.

As the title implies, the story culminates in Ferguson's decision to become an American citizen.  I was actually a bit disappointed that, for all the detail about his life and "adventures" earlier in the book, the section on the naturalization process was thin.  It certainly was not as complete as the reports Ferguson gave about it on The Late, Late Show on CBS while he was going through it.  (That included numerous offers of "honorary citizenship" from state governors, including a then-unknown-outside-Alaska Sarah Palin, whom Ferguson described at the time as something of a "sexy librarian.")

Still, Ferguson's chronicle of his life growing up in a lower-middle-class household near Glasgow in the 1960s and '70s, his love affair with the United States that began upon his first visit here at the age of 13, his early life as a drunk and drug addict, his first attempts at performing (which began with him as the drummer for a punk rock band, leading to a stand-up act as the character "Bing Hitler") that included encounters with other beginners like U2 and Alan Cumming, through his long-term engagement as a regular on The Drew Carey Show and finally, his becoming the best of the late-night talk show hosts (in my opinion, at least).

After Ferguson's performance at the Paramount in Charlottesville, I noticed his tour bus was still parked out back and, curious, I found a cadre of fans standing outside, waiting for the star to emerge.  Sure enough, only a few minutes later, he came out of the stage door and signed a few autographs and posed for a few photographs.  Luckily for me and Steven Latimer, who was with me that night, Craig let us pose with him in the very last shot taken that night.  Naturally, I posted it on Facebook as soon as we got home.  It appears here for the first time outside a social networking context.

As the picture was being snapped, I said to Craig, "You're the smartest host on late-night TV," to which he replied:  "That's like being a tall midget."  Maybe so, but I stand by my statement.

For what it's worth, I also purchased Ferguson's novel, Between the Bridge and the River, on that night at the Paramount.  I have not yet had a chance to read it.

I don't read much fiction, in general, but when I received a review copy of James Magruder's Sugarless, I simply could not put it down.

It has been almost a year since I read the book, but I still think about it because it resonates with my personal experience so much:  not in every aspect, but hitting a sufficient number of points on the matrix to make me believe it.

Sugarless is the story of Rick, a 15-year-old high school student in suburban Chicago during the mid-1970s who, almost purely by chance, ends up on the speech team and finds out he has a talent for dramatic interpretation (or dramatic interp, for those in the know).

Magruder's verisimilitude about high school forensics struck me more than anything else in the book, even the parts about the protaganist's struggle with coming out as gay in an era far less accepting of that than it is now.  His descriptions of the scenes at speech tournaments are amazingly accurate, and his portrayals of coaches and competitors are eerily familiar to me.

The one detail that other readers might find difficult to believe is the choice of the protaganist's speech coach to have him do an excerpt from Mart Crowley's play, The Boys in the Band.  People unfamiliar with high school forensics may think that a play about gay men would be off-limits, especially in 1976, and especially in the American Midwest.

The truth is, a cutting from The Boys in the Band was circulating at that time, and my own coach asked me to do it.  For reasons unrelated to the content of the piece, I ended up doing a different selection.  (If I recall correctly, it was the courtroom scene in A Man for All Seasons, a far more conventional choice.)  So I can testify against the doubters that an excerpt from The Boys in the Band was, indeed, being performed on the high school forensics circuit in the mid-1970s.

Having just seen the excellent documentary about Crowley and his play, Making the Boys, at the Virginia Film Festival, my memories of reading Sugarless earlier this year and my own experience in high school rushed back to me.  I recommend Sugarless to anyone who has competed in speech and debate or to anyone who was once a gay teenager.  It's an excellent book, and a compelling read -- a real achievement for a first-time novelist, even one who, like Magruder, is an accomplished playwright and translator.

I had planned to list a few novelty items here to round out this list of suggestions for Cyber Monday gifts, but these four books probably do the job.

In any event, Amazon.com has set up a whole page of links aimed at the Cyber Monday shopper.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sagal and Ferguson on the 'Real America'

Peter Sagal, host of NPR's weekly quiz show, Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, was a guest on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS-TV on its Friday the 13th episode. During the interview, both Ferguson and Sagal had good things to say about my hometown, Milwaukee, and about the Midwest in general. The sequence began with Ferguson asking Sagal about the home base for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, the City That Ferris Bueller Made Famous:

FERGUSON: But you like Chicago?

SAGAL: Oh, I love Chicago. Illinois is fabulous.

FERGUSON: Do you ever go north?

SAGAL: (startled) To Wisconsin?....

FERGUSON: Do you ever go up to Milwaukee, for example?

SAGAL: Milwaukee's a great town.

FERGUSON: I like that city.

SAGAL: Milwaukee's a great city, very good for sausages and beer,

(audience titters)

SAGAL: It's true.

(audience titters)

SAGAL: They'll laugh at anything.

FERGUSON: That's why they're here; that's what they're paid for....

SAGAL: Milwaukee's a great town. As you know (leaning in), because you're an American, that the Midwest is America. This is where America is -- processed meats, tasteless beer. This is where it comes from.

FERGUSON: I don't know. There are other parts of America, like New Orleans is America, the Pacific Northwest. Where's not America, clearly, is Los Angeles.
At the end of the interview, Ferguson and Sagal agreed to "trade places, like The Prince and the Pauper," with each hosting the other's show.

While the suggestion may have been made in jest, as it was sealed with a handshake, I would not be surprised to see, sometime in the not-too-distant future, Peter Sagal sitting behind Craig Ferguson's desk one night and Ferguson standing at Sagal's podium at the Chase Auditorium, posing questions to panelists like Mo Rocca, Amy Dickinson, and Paula Poundstone.

Will NPR and CBS accede to the experiment? Stay tuned.




Be sure to visit my CafePress store for gifts and novelty items!
Read my blog on Kindle!
Follow my tweets on Twitter!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Madeleine Albright and Craig Ferguson on Citizenship

On tonight's edition of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson on CBS-TV, the lead guest was former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

The interview touched several issues, including the potential of Texas secession, Albright's collection of brooches and pins (including a "snake pin" she wore at the United Nations to goad Saddam Hussein), the Secretary's new book (Memo to the President Elect), and one thing that both host and guest have in common:

Both Madeleine Albright (born in what was then Czechoslovakia) and Craig Ferguson (born in Scotland) are naturalized American citizens -- that is, they are Americans by choice (and working to achieve it) rather than by birth.

In the course of their conversation, Dr. Albright mentioned that, on July 4, 2000, she visited Monticello and participated in the annual citizenship ceremonies there. She said that, as she handed out the certificates of citizenship to each of the new Americans, she told them, "Treasure this paper. It's the most important piece of paper you will ever have."

I reported on Albright's visit to Monticello for The Metro Herald, as I have reported on subsequent Independence Day naturalization ceremonies.

Let me make a suggestion to the folks up on Mr. Jefferson's little mountain: Craig Ferguson would be an excellent candidate to speak at the annual July 4th event. He's earned it. He'd also be entertaining, and I'm sure his remarks would be both intelligent and witty.



Read my blog on Kindle!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Craig Ferguson Still Gets It

Late-night talk show host Craig Ferguson often reminds his viewers that he became an American citizen by taking and passing a test, which sets him apart from native-born Americans who (he implies) know less about their Constitution and government than he does.

That naturalized immigrants must learn more about American history and our constitutional heritage in order to enter full citizenship than birthright Americans is a commonplace. Americans, sad to say, are ignorant of politics and government. They routinely fail to answer correctly 50 percent or more of the questions in a survey about the Constitution or about political history.

We're not talking about average Americans failing to recognize the name of Rebecca Felton (the first woman to serve in the U.S. Senate) or knowing the details of the Supreme Court's decision in Watchtower v. Village of Stratton. No, these are questions like "How many branches of government are there, and can you name all three?"

In any case, the Scottish-born, self-educated Ferguson has absorbed American values and, although is politics seem to lean a bit toward the left-liberal side of the spectrum, it is clear that the libertarian streak of his former boss and co-star Drew Carey has rubbed off (at least a bit) on the host of The Late, Late Show.

Evidence for this came this week when, on episodes 829 and 830 (Tuesday night and Wednesday night), Ferguson unleashed a torrent of satire and sarcasm against the meddlesome and condescending ways of local government.

In this particular case, Ferguson had planned on using, during the cold open that follows The Late Show with David Letterman, some lighted sparklers to make the show more festive and, well, sparkly.

But no -- Los Angeles County requires anyone who handles sparklers to take a training course and obtain a legal permit before doing so. (This will come as a surprise to any of us -- that's you and me, readers -- who handled sparklers on the Fourth of July at the age of 7 or so, no permit in hand.) Consequently, Ferguson had to wait until Wednesday's show -- episode 830 -- to demonstrate his (now-legal) sparkler-handling capacity. The permit, I should add, specified where on his show's set that the comic actor could stand while holding the lit sparklers. (He bravely ignored this aspect of the regulations, risking judicial punishment in the process.)

Throughout the two hours of merriment on succeeding nights, Ferguson was able to skewer local government for its patronizing view of citizens: laws like this one suggest that we are too stupid to take care against any damage that a sparkler (which burns out by itself within about 30 seconds) might cause. Making fun of tyrants is older than Shakespeare (older than Plautus and Aristophanes, for that matter) and Ferguson does it oh-so-well. If nothing else, he compels us to ask why we tolerate a government that holds us in such low esteem.

I have written previously that Craig Ferguson is the most intelligent and wittiest of the late-night talk-show hosts. He is also the one with the fullest understanding of what it means to be an American -- not bad for a guy born overseas. (You can find my previous posts about Craig Ferguson here and here.) Perhaps he should affiliate himself with the Institute for Justice, as Drew Carey has done with the Reason Foundation.



Be sure to visit my CafePress store for gifts and novelty items!
Read my blog on Kindle!