Write Me In Care Of The Blues

The Charlottesville Electoral Board has completed its canvass of votes for the November 8 General and Special Election and submitted the results to the state. The numbers are posted on the State Board of Elections' web site.

What you won't see there are any of the names written in by voters who were not, for one reason or another, satisfied with the choices offered to them on the ballot.

The "certified" write-in candidate for Governor and Lieutenant Governor, L. Mills Moss, received no votes in either race. No surprise there.

Libertarian Party write-in candidates for those offices fared somewhat better. James W. Lark III received three votes for Governor and one for city Treasurer. Jeff Bowles received one vote for Lieutenant Governor.

Someone named "Bill D. Bypass" was popular enough to be named as an alternative for Governor, Lieutenant Governor, and the House of Delegates. Apparently at least one Charlottesville voter was persuaded by the relentless radio ads, calling for a western bypass, from Albemarle County Board of Supervisors candidate Gary Grant (who was unsuccessful in his race against David Slutzky).

Celebrities also made the list: Uma Karuna Thurman received a vote for Lieutenant Governor, while Harriet Miers was someone's choice (not George Bush's, though) for Attorney General. Jesus Christ and Donald Duck both received votes instead of David Toscano and Tom McCrystal in the House of Delegates race (Mr. Duck getting two).

The Commonwealth's Attorney (an uncontested race featuring only the incumbent, Dave Chapman, on the ballot) had the most write-in votes, 62, with Mr. Belvedere, George Bush, Ward Churchill, Thomas Jefferson, Madonna, Matlock, and favorite son Dave Mathews [sic] making the grade.

The race for Sheriff, in which incumbent Cornelia Johnson ran unopposed, offers a glimpse at how some voters view their hometown. Someone must think of Charlottesville as Dodge City, since he (or she) cast his vote for Matt Dillon, while another must envision Charlottesville as more like Mayberry, since that person's vote went to Andy Taylor. Madonna also got a vote for Sheriff, as did Charlottesville Police Chief Tim Longo and Sergeant Mike Farruggio.

One has to wonder how Bugs Bunny, Jerry Garcia, and James Madison all got votes for Commissioner of Revenue, as well as Johnny Depp, Kermit the Frog, and Alexander Hamilton for city Treasurer. (Hamilton makes a sort of sense, actually.)

Local politicians and political figures also turn up on the list of write-ins:

58th District Delegate Rob Bell was written in for Commonwealth's Attorney, Sheriff, Commissioner of Revenue, and Treasurer. Can he juggle the responsibilities for all those jobs?

In the House of Delegates race, voters also chose City Councilor Rob Schilling, former City Councilor Meredith Richards (2 votes), the 57th District incumbent, Mitch Van Yahres, and Rich Collins, who lost the Democratic nomination for that office to David Toscano in the June primary. (Collins got four write-in votes on Tuesday.)

Alternative choices for Commonwealth's Attorney included Charlottesville Republican Committee Chairman Bob Hodous, local Libertarian activist Arin Sime, and taxpayer advocate Buddy Weber, who also received a vote for Commissioner of Revenue.

Former School Board member Bill Igbani, blogger Waldo Jaquith, and former Fifth Congressional District Republican Party Chairman Randolph Byrd each received a vote for Treasurer.

Charlottesville attorney Tom Albro, who was the first candidate to face Mitch Van Yahres in a House of Delegates election, received votes for that same office once again, Commonwealth's Attorney, and Sheriff.

Quite common were expressions of dissatisfaction with the range of choices on the ballot. These included "None of the Above," which appears as a choice for Lieutenant Governor and Attorney General, and its acronym, NOTA, cast for Commonwealth's Attorney, Sheriff, and Commissioner of the Revenue.

Similar statements of frustration were Alternative, Anyone, Anyone But, Anyone Else, No Choice, No Vote, None, and Someone Honest.

Perhaps the most personal of these seemed to be directed at the sole candidate for Treasurer, incumbent Jennifer Brown: "I Hate You Jennifer."