Taking the Commercial Plunge

As I am coming close to 1,000 posts on this blog -- that is one thousand posts since December 17, 2004 -- it may seem odd that I am just now taking the plunge into Internet commerce in anything but the most peripheral fashion.

From the beginning, I have participated in the affiliate programs of Amazon.com and, eventually, also TLA Video. Emulating models in the blogosphere, however, I have now added to the various hats I wear: one marked, "CafePress Shop Owner."

Yes, I have opened up a shop on CafePress, hoping to tap into the bottomless wealth of the Internet. The shop is designed to meet the gift-buying preferences of readers of Rick Sincere News & Thoughts. That is, at least, what I hope.

The main page of the shop can be found here. The designs are mostly based on photographs I have taken over the years -- here in Charlottesville, in Milwaukee, in Britain and Europe, and around the United States. (Sharp eyes might catch one or two photos that would have been impossible for me to have shot.)

There is also a section devoted to Christmas products (called "Christmas Cheer"). Another section, called "Politics & Travel," will eventually be populated with products for the libertarian-minded shopper; for now, it has magnets and notecards decorated with various views of the Washington Monument and other notable buildings.

A third section, "Saints & Sinners," fulfills a more impish function. Check it out and see what I mean. It, too, will soon have more, and more distinctive, products.

More items and sections are sure to be added, and reminders will be posted here and around the web.

Gift Ideas for Black Friday

Last year, just before Thanksgiving, I wrote about the origins of "Black Friday" -- the legendary "busiest" shopping day of the year (which is not true; that happens on the Saturday before Christmas) on which retailers account books shift from red to black (another dubious claim).

This year, hopes for Black Friday are muted. Many retailers are afraid the current economic situation has made consumers wary of making large purchases, today or any other day between now and Christmas. A recent survey, reported by Reuters, suggests that the number of shoppers will be lower this year than last year during the days immediately following Thanksgiving:

Up to 128 million shoppers and would-be shoppers could be expected this holiday weekend, but the numbers represent a drop of more than 5 percent from a year ago, according to a survey released Tuesday.

Some 49 million U.S. shoppers already plan to hit stores this coming holiday weekend, prompted by pent-up demand and lured by deep discounts, according to the BIGresearch study for the National Retail Federation (NRF).

An additional 79 million would-be shoppers are playing wait-and-see, planning to suss out the weekend promotions before deciding whether to shop, the survey found.

But the 128 million people represent a drop of more than 5 percent from the 135 million people who said they would, or might shop a year ago during the Black Friday weekend, the kick-off to the holiday shopping season.

Retailers are pulling out all the stops to attract shoppers under the circumstances of the economic slowdown. For instance, Simon Malls (which include Charlottesville's Fashion Square Mall) will be opening their doors extra early this year:

Early-bird shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving is an annual tradition for holiday bargain hunters across the country. This year Simon Property Group, Inc. ... is opening its malls extra early to help consumers get an even faster jump on their holiday gift lists.

Most Simon malls will open their doors at 5:00 a.m. on Friday, November 28, the traditional start to the holiday shopping season, where consumers will be met with more retailer offers and savings and customer amenities, all under one roof.

Even on-line retailers are getting into the act, getting a jump on "Cyber Monday" (the first workday following Black Friday, when cubicle-dwellers surf the shopping sites instead of doing the work that's expected of them).

For instance, Amazon.com has a promotion called "Amazon Customers Vote," described like this:

Welcome to Amazon Customers Vote 2008, your chance to compete for our most ridiculous deals of the season. The products that get the most votes in each of six rounds will be offered at ridiculous deal prices, and the runners-up will also be offered at slightly smaller discounts. (But they'll still be sweet deals.)

* Step 1: Vote.
Browse our six rounds of great products, and vote for the ones you'd like to buy at an amazing discount.

* Step 2: Check E-mail.
Check your e-mail the day before each buying round to see if you've been randomly selected to participate in the race to buy.

* Step 3: Go!
If selected, make sure you come back and log-in early on race day. We will have many more participants than deals, so the race is on. Good luck!

Amazon has also set up a special page full of "Black Friday 2008 Deals," leading off with electronics, followed by gifts for sporty and outdoorsy types, winter apparel, home improvement bargains, and books and DVDS, among other items.

TLA Video, a specialty web site, also offers a number of quirky gift ideas for Christmas and the holiday season. (I highlighted some of those products last year, but a few of the more entertaining links are dead now.)

Those who have not yet bought, addressed, and sent out their holiday greeting cards might be interested in these choices:

Celebrate Boxed Holiday Cards

The tantalizing angel on the cover of this card gives great reason to celebrate. Each of the ten cards contained in this set feature the photo shown. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: Celebrate Inside: A healthy & happy holiday season.








Christmas Homo Boxed Holiday Cards

It's simple, but it hit us right on the funny bone. Your friends are likely to get a big kick, as well. Each of the ten cards contained in the set feature this photo of a man shouting. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: Merry Christmas! Inside: Homo!









Herald Angels Sing Boxed Holiday Cards

Now that is what I call an angel! Adorable! Each of the ten cards contained in this holiday set feature the captivating photo pictured. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: Hark! The herald angels sing Inside: Wishing you a peaceful Christmas and a joyous New Year







Santa Quits Boxed Holiday Cards

Only one thing can be inferred from this card...Santa must be a homophobe. It's a shame, because he might fit nicely in the older bear community. Send this card to your friends and give them a holiday chuckle. Each of the ten cards in this set features the photo shown. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: A Barbie for Ben and a tool belt for Jane! Inside: I quit!




Wishing Joy & Love Boxed Holiday Cards

Awww. This card carries a sweet sentiment to share with your friends and neighbors this holiday season. Each of the ten cards in this gorgeous set feature the scrumptious angel pictured. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: Joy to the World Inside: Wishing joy and love to you and yours this holiday season






For those more interested in playing cards than greeting cards, TLA Video has these provocative game decks available:





Truth or Dare Poker Card Game

Add some naughty, taboo fun to your favorite card games. The Truth or Dare Poker Card Game contains the standard 52 cards found in any deck along with probing truth questions and hilarious dares on each card. Win a game and you get to assign truths or dares to the other players of your choice. The better your poker hand, the more people you get to challenge. Truth example: What are you most ashamed to admit you own? Dare example: Perform a puppet show with dirty sweat socks.











Playgirl Playing Cards

This official poker deck features 52 different hot, buff men from Playgirl for your own personal playing enjoyment. Just don't let these studs distract you from your poker strategy and try not to drool all over the cards either...other players have to use them too.









No doubt there is someone on your gift list who likes soft skin and pleasant aromas, and there is plenty to choose from on that score:


Pear Trio Box

TLA is proud to offer this gorgeous, eye-catching gift set containing a trio of intoxicating pear-scented bath and body products from duross & langel. Fairly dripping with sweet and yummy yellow pear set within a white shea butter soap base and blended with pear nectar. Included in this set are shower gel, body cream, and soap.

Peppermint Trio Box

TLA is proud to offer this gorgeous, eye-catching gift set containing a trio of intoxicating peppermint-scented bath and body products from duross & langel. Soothe your senses and calm your soul with a unique and invigorating blend of peppermint oils. This set also includes soap, shower gel, and body cream.

Nothing makes a better stocking-stuffer than a classic Christmas DVD. It comes as no surprise that TLA Video offers a large selection. Just a few to start with:

Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July

You would have to search far and wide to find anyone who disagrees with the view that this is simply one of the worst animated Christmas movies ever made, and therefore it must be seen to be believed. TLA Video's synopsis barely skims the surface:

"Long, long ago, the North Pole was ruled by the good fairy Lady Boreal and her enemy was the wicked wizard Winterbolt. To protect Santa Claus from Winterbolt's foggy fury, Lady Boreal grants Rudolph the Reindeer a magical, glowing nose. Years later, Rudolph and his friend Frosty the Snowman are called on to save a needy circus at a special 4th of July benefit. But their big-top act turns to big-time trouble when Winterbolt appears - with a plan to steal Frosty's magic hat and extinguish Rudolph's legendary nose!"

The cast includes Ethel Merman, Mickey Rooney, Red Buttons, and Shelley Winters. Yes, really.








The Judy Garland Christmas Show

If you prefer something with lasting quality rather than something that requires an airsickness bag while watching, then this Judy Garland Christmas special is for you. As long as you can overlook Judy's barely hidden state of intoxication, you will be delighted by this episode of her early-60s TV series. Judy is joined by daughter Liza Minnelli and friend Jack Jones and Mel Torme.












A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!

Now, if 45-year-old classics are not your preference, then you can't miss with tomorrow's nostalgia: Stephen Colbert premiered his Christmas special just a few days ago, and the DVD is already available for purchase. (How long did we have to wait for Rudolph and Frosty?) Includes unforgettable musical sequences in which Stephen sings with Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, Feist, Elvis Costello, John Legend, and Jon Stewart.







With 2009 just around the corner, it's time to buy a calendar for the new year. There are so many to choose from, so here's a sampling:



Wizard of Oz 2009 Calendar

Seventy years after its premiere in theaters, The Wizard of Oz™ remains one of the most beloved movie classics of all time. This calendar celebrates the seventieth anniversary of Dorothy's journey Over the Rainbow. It features a high-process cover with glittery Ruby Slippers, foil type and borders, and spot UV accents. The monthly spreads also boast spot UV as well metallic inks and vivid photos befitting the time-honored film.









Ugly Betty 2009 Calendar

Ugly Betty boasts nearly 15 million viewers per episode and has won countless awards. The show also earned eleven Emmy nominations, the most for any comedy series on any network. This calendar brings together the unique humor, original style, and edgy look of this hit show by featuring photographs of the all-star cast accompanied by images and dialogue from the show.










Desperate Housewives 2009 Calendar

Says TLA Video: "Consistently garnering nearly 19 million viewers per episode, Desperate Housewives is one of our favorite guilty pleasures (especially now that the hunky gay neighbors have moved in)! The women of Wisteria Lane are back for another smokin' hot year of gorgeous photos and bitchy dialogue."










And, for those who saw Heidi Klum on Jay Leno's show on Thanksgiving Eve ... while I could not track down the "Hollywood Fireman" calendar that the supermodel displayed, I was able to find the Sunset Strip Firemen 2009 Calendar, which should be a satisfactory substitute.







Finally, I should note that TLA Video is having a marathon sale this weekend, beginning on Thanksgiving Day and ending at 11:59 p.m. on December 2. Look for "Gift Ideas for Film Snobs" and "Perfect Gifts," among other categories.

If you haven't crossed off every name from your Xmas shopping list by now, you're just not trying!

width="728">

Mettez vos mains sur le volant!

An amusing viral video that has attracted almost 200,000 hits on YouTube in about three days turns out to be a publicity gimmick by a company that manufactures hands-free mobile telephone equipment.

The video, which appears under the misleading title "Kid fails driving test 5 times in a day," is a sort of "candid camera" prank, in which several California driving teachers are the targets of the joke.

Here's the video:

As you can see, the "kid" is not "fail[ing] his driving test," but rather is taking driving lessons from exasperated instructors.

Since the video ends with a plug for "Parrot.com," most people should have got the clue that this was a commercial production, and not some teenager playing amateur "Punk'd" with a hidden dashboard camera.

The truth came out in a FishbowlLA post earlier yesterday:

The video is part of a marketing strategy for a company called Parrot.com to raise the awareness of the new laws in California, as well as, to raise the brand awareness of their hands-free mobile devices in the US. Parrot funded the production of the video.

The video is not scripted. The company installed hidden cameras in the car and hired "John" to test the limits of these driving instructors using his cell phone.

Who is Parrot.com, you may ask?

According to its corporate web site,

Based in Paris and founded in 1994 by Henri Seydoux, its Chairman and CEO, Parrot S.A. is one of the profitable, fast-growing companies that have emerged from the "start-up" generation. Since its beginnings, Parrot's core competence has been the technologies for embedded noise-robust voice recognition and signal processing, with applications in mobile computing and mobile communications.

Parrot also hosts a web site called "ParrotSafeDriving.com," which provides a guide to hands-free driving legislation across North America. Among other things, it offers this useful map of U.S. states and Canadian provinces that prohibit (or are soon to prohibit) driving while using a cellphone or PDA or similar device:


This gives a whole new meaning to "red, blue, and purple states."

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

More than ten years ago, I wrote an article called "A Moral Case for Christmas Commercialism," which appeared in a good number of newspapers around the country, including the Richmond Times-Dispatch, Las Vegas Review Journal, Kansas City Star, and others.

I slightly revised the article in 2003 and it appeared in a few more newspapers, eventually landing on this weblog in 2004, as one of my first posts.

Every year about this time, two things happen: (1) the number of visitors to that post skyrockets and (2) I get an invitation to talk about the article from one or more radio talk show hosts, usually in distant cities. It's one of those gifts that keep on giving.

Earlier today, a program called "State of Nevada" on KNPR-FM in Las Vegas broadcast an interview with me, which was recorded on Wednesday afternoon. The show was split into three principal segments, described on the show's web page like this:

We'll talk with political science professors Ted Jelen of UNLV and Jim Richardson of UNR about Mitt Romney's "Faith in America" speech, and the role of religion in choosing a president. Then we'll speak with the director of the Western Folklife Center and two cowboy poets about the upcoming National Cowboy Poetry festival in Elko.

Then: We'll discuss holiday commercialism with the star of a new documentary "What Would Jesus Buy?" The Rev Billy Talen and his Stop Shopping Choir crossed the country calling on Americans to curb their consumption in the film that opens in Las Vegas Friday.

Apparently I was the "counterpoint" to the Reverend Billy, who is no stranger to me. (He was a guest performance artist at the Virginia Film Festival in 2003, and I have posted a video of his wonderful First Amendment protest in New York earlier this year.)

You can listen to the interview here.

Freberg the Prophet

Almost 50 years ago, radio personality Stan Freberg released his classic, "Green Chri$tma$," which skewered what he perceived as the over-commercialization of the Christmas holiday season.

Jeff Westover explains in "The Story of Stan Freberg's Green Chri$tma$":

Long before the hotly debated war on Christmas, predating just about any civic debate over public Nativity displays or church and state arguments -- even before the term "political correctness" was coined -- Stan Freberg produced a work satirizing the advertising world's exploitation of Christmas. It was an instant hit and a controversial thorn in the side of Freberg's record producers and Madison Avenue. The year was 1958.

Stan Freberg was by that point a radio superstar. First appearing on radio in the mid-1940s with Jack Benny and the Armed Services Radio Network, Freberg was signed by Capitol Records in 1951 and produced parodies of pop culture's most brilliant stars of the 1950s including Elvis Presley, Cole Porter, Johnnie Ray, Lawrence Welk and Harry Belafonte. Freberg's work -- labeled as comedy by some, satire and social commentary by others -- was brilliantly produced and often charted as high as the hits he parodied.

Green Chri$tma$ used the familiar story line of Dickens' A Christmas Carol as the backdrop for a conversation between Mr. Scrooge, an advertising executive and Bob Crachit, a humble small business owner compelled to keep the season sacred. Set to music brilliantly scored by Billy May, the story is told through mock-commercials for everything from cigarettes to beer by advertisers who use Christmas carols and icons because "Christmas can be such a monetary joy".

Westover's brief essay continues, quoting Freberg himself:

"I listen to that now, and it's like I did it last week. I'm amazed that it holds up all these years." Freberg says. "The interesting thing is that after that record, both Coca-Cola and Marlboro came to me to do ad campaigns. And this is after the president of Capitol, Lloyd Dunn, said, 'Well, I'll tell you one thing, Freberg. You'll never work in the advertising business again.' I was just getting started in the field."

Ironically, Green Chri$tma$ may have marked the turning point in Freberg's career as he shifted his professional focus from radio in the late 1950s to advertising in the 1960s. Freberg went on to a storied career in advertising winning numerous awards and accolades for humor in advertising.

Green Chri$tma$ resonated with listeners but rankled advertisers on Freberg's show. "This record, of course was an attack on the over commercialization of Christmas," Freberg says. "And when it first came out some sponsors refused to pay for any of their commercials that were programmed within five minutes of my record being played. They felt that my record negated their commercials." So critical was the business of radio and advertising that Green Chri$tma$ received no commercial airplay prior to 1983.

I know that last sentence is not true, because I was a teenager in the early 1970s when I first heard "Green Chri$tma$" played on the radio by Bob Moke, the evening disc jockey on WEMP-AM in Milwaukee.

Moke often played novelty records, and around Christmas he played Freberg's "Christmas Dragnet," Yogi Yorgesson's "I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas," and a Christmas episode of John "Mad Man" Michaels' "Czarnina Kid" (sort of like LA's Joe Friday transplanted to Mitchell Street, "where the streetcar bends the corner around"). WEMP, it might be noted, also launched the career of Alvin and the Chipmunks; according to local legend, Joe Dorsey, one of the station's top-rated DJs, was the first to play "The Chipmunk Song," which had languished without airplay and could have ended up recorded and quickly forgotten. (An alternate version of this story -- or perhaps an accurate story in its own right -- places Dorsey as the first DJ to play "The Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett. Take your choice.)

Anyway, I digress.

"Green Chri$tma$" is a one-act musical play, set in the board room of a Madison Avenue ad agency. Several advertising executives are discussing upcoming holiday campaigns with their boss, "Mr. Scrooge." Along comes a client, Bob Cratchet, and this dialogue ensues:

SCROOGE: What? Who are you?
CRATCHET: Bob Cratchet, sir. I've got a little spice company over in East Orange, New Jersey. Do I have to tie my product in to Christmas?
SCROOGE: What do you mean?
CRATCHET: Well, I was just going to send cards out showing the three wise men following the Star of Bethlehem...
SCROOGE: I get it! And they're bearing your spices. Now that's perfect.

Now comes a news story reporting that the popular energy drink, Red Bull, is withdrawing an ad campaign that seems to have been lifted right from Stan Freberg's playbook. Writes Jennifer Harper in Wednesday's Washington Times:

The makers of Red Bull, the caffeine-charged energy drink favored by ambitious athletes and all-night revelers, has gotten a crash course in religion, courtesy of an angry Catholic priest.

The manufacturer is guilty of committing "a blasphemous act," says the Rev. Marco Damanti, who hails from Sicily, Italy.

Red Bull went too far, he said, in an animated 30-second spot airing throughout Europe that depicts a cartoon Nativity scene: Jesus has a pacifier, and there's a fourth Wise Man. He has not come bearing frankincense or myrrh, but rather a case of Red Bull for the holy infant. The spot ends with a flutter of flying angels, singing "Alleluia" and telling viewers, "Red Bull gives you wings."

Harper notes that this is not the first time advertisers have run afoul of church authorities:

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights took on Unilever in 2001 for substituting onion dip and corn chips for Communion wafers in a print ad for Lipton's Onion Soup Mix. The Kohler Co. company also got into trouble by using an image taken from Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel to peddle toilets — the hand of God reaches out not to touch Adam and give life, but to flush.

Catholics are not alone, though. A Volvo TV campaign claimed a new sports utility vehicle could "save your soul" a decade ago, drawing dozens of calls from "conservative Christians." The American Family Association and other groups, in the meantime, have organized letter-writing campaigns and boycotts of advertisers that take liberties with sacred images or flaunt profanity.

There is some dissent among the ranks, though. Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good, a District-based activist group, claims that such hypersensitivity — particularly over the substitution of the word "holiday" for "Christmas" in advertising or public events — is simply fodder for "shouting matches."

I have to agree that the "onion dip and corn chips" ad (which I have never seen) sounds like it's in bad taste, but the Red Bull ad -- based on its description -- sounds like cheeky fun. The Vatican, according to Harper, has established some standards when it comes to this issue:

The Catholic Church takes an official stand against offensive advertising that abuses religious content.

"Commercial advertisers sometimes include religious themes or use religious images or personages to sell products," notes "Ethics in Advertising" guidelines drafted by the Pontifical Council for Social Communications in the Vatican.

"It is possible to do this in tasteful, acceptable ways, but the practice is obnoxious and offensive when it involves exploiting religion or treating it flippantly," the guidelines state.

While anyone is free to complain, or to choose not to buy a product with distasteful advertising, it seems to me that "obnoxious," "offensive," and "flippant" are subjective modifiers that will vary from person to person. (See, for instance, the "Looking Good for Jesus Mini-Kit.")

I just hope someone is collecting all these ads to release on a DVD of "bad-taste advertising" -- a perfect stocking-stuffer for a future Christmas.

Christmas Shopping List

And now for a break from political posts ...

Do you have a hard-to-shop-for friend or relative? Are you looking for quirky gifts that may not be available at Kmart or Target or even Amazon.com? Searching for something for that proverbial "man who has everything"?

Try some of these stocking stuffers from TLA Video's online store. Just be sure to have a camera on hand to capture the expression on those faces on Christmas morning!


It's Okay to Be Gay Playing Cards
(Maybe not a total break from politics, if you believe the personal is the political.) Says the retailer: "Of course it's okay to be gay! Just incase you forget, however, this novelty deck of playing cards features a friendly illustrated reminder on the back. Let's see if your friends can stop laughing long enough to put on their poker faces."






Latter Days T-Shirt
Here's a complement to that Mormon beefcake calendar you've been craving. According to TLA Video: "People have been asking for it for years and it is finally here! This stylish light blue American Apparel T-Shirt sporting the logo to director C. Jay Cox's beloved gay classic Latter Days is made from 100% Fine Jersey cotton. Combed for ultra-softness and comfort, this is, truly, one of the best-looking T-shirts available."











Looking Good for Jesus Mini-Kit
For the impious primpers on your shopping list, try this gift that combines good grooming with bad taste. Writes Robert O'Neill, tongue firmly in cheek, "The Looking Good for Jesus Mini-Kit is designed to help you get on the good side of our Lord and Savior. It redeems you in his eyes and takes the edge off sinning. Included is a mirrored Jesus statuette, vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact. Sure to be a big hit at parties, the Looking Good for Jesus Mini-Kit makes a marvelous stocking stuffer for the big guy's birthday."











Kissing Boys Coaster Set
Planning a party with lots of mistletoe hanging about? Protect your table surfaces with these cute coasters. Promoting its other products, TLA Video notes: "This adorable coaster set contains four different images from the popular TLA Releasing movies Latter Days, Another Gay Movie, The Trip and Boy Culture! Each features boys sharing intense and intimate moments with one another. They're sure to give your tummy a few butterflies every time you pick up your drink! Included are four square, 4" x 4" coasters with a heavy duty rubber base and a durable, textured polymer finish surface."







And if those coasters are insufficient for the crowd you expect on New Year's Eve, try these:

Naked Boys Singing! Coaster Set
From off-Broadway comedy to your living room, "this gorgeous coaster set," notes TLA Video, "features four different mouth-watering images of those coveted naked singing boys from the new hit musical revue Naked Boys Singing! They are sure to keep you captivated every time that you pick up your glass. Included are four square, 4" x 4" coasters with a heavy duty rubber base and a durable, textured polymer finish surface."











Instant Gay Accent Breath Spray
Never fear looking uncultured and uncouth with this in your messenger bag: According to Robert O'Neill, "Put a little ssssizzle in those s's and impresssss your friendssss with thisss peppermint flavored Instant Gay Accent Breath Spray. This is a great little novelty stocking stuffer and it's certainly good to have around on dates and at the club. It's always important to keep your breath fresh for close-up conversations and flirtations."












Handz Off Hand Cream
The Mrs. Grundys in your life may appreciate this holiday gift: "A charming little novelty item, the Handz Off Hand Cream is scented with calming coconut, buttermilk and vanilla bean. Offering 5 ounces of a long-lasting, deliciously sensual aroma (just remember not to eat it), it claims to quickly relieve users of the urge to masturbate. Does it work? Er...not really...we've tried. It appears to have the opposite effect, actually. Enjoy!"









Gay Sex! Card Game
And for the anti-Grundys among us, Robert O'Neill writes: "Not only will the Gay Sex! Card Game put some extra spice into your sex life and offer great suggestions, but it promises a good workout as well (and that's one helluva fun way to exercise). Each card features illustrations of men in creative (and frequently humorous) sexual positions. Keep this one hidden in your bedside table drawer for easy access - it's likely to generate an intensely pleasurable nightly tradition."



Diner Picture Frame
For the creative home decorator: Manufactured by Precious Memory, this picture frame is a "bit like an Edward Hopper painting, a bit like everyday life, ... just the thing for a snapshot of those favorite places and people you daydream about." Made of poly-resin, it accommodates one 4x6 picture.







Balls Soap
From the product description: "Because it's not what you've got, it's how you wash 'em! Made with a pure vegetable base, the hefty 7.0 ounce Balls Soap will grace your bod with an intoxicating lemon and jasmine fragrance. It's also sure to give a good chuckle to any lucky fellas that ask to use your shower in the morning."









For the Manichean soul in each of us come these two sets of bath products:


Virgin/Slut Soap & Washcloth Set
The catalog says: "With soothing aromas designed to suit your mood (hot or cold), The Virgin/Slut Soap and Washcloth Set is a nice addition to any bathroom. Contained in an embroidered washcloth along with two bars of soap. The Virgin Soap contains Indonesian patchouli, sandalwood & Madagascan vetivert scents while the Slut Soap contains Italian lemon, Oriental eucalyptus and bergamont."












Virgin/Slut Bubble Bath
Isn't that a cute little imp? "The Virgin/Slut Bubble Bath set contains two 6 ounce jars of frothy, fancy bubble bath to match your mood. Feeling serene and virtuous or down and dirty? The Virgin Bubble Bath contains Indonesian patchouli, sandalwood & Madagascan vetivert scents while the Slut Bubble Bath contains Italian lemon, Oriental eucalyptus and bergamont."












Celebrate Boxed Holiday Cards
You may want to buy these early in the season. TLA Video says: "The tantalizing angel on the cover of this card gives great reason to celebrate. Each of the ten cards contained in this set feature the photo shown. Here's the copy inside and outside the card: Outside: Celebrate Inside: A healthy & happy holiday season."











And if you need more cards for all those new friends you made this year, there's always this angelic herald:


Snowy Angel Boxed Holiday Cards
Running into that angel in America would be enough to turn Tony Kushner into a Goldwater Republican! From TLA Video's notes: "No matter how hot he looks, that cute little angel must be chilly standing in the snow. If only you could warm him up. You can't, of course. He's only a picture on a greeting card, silly. You can, however, stuff him snugly in an envelope and send him to all of your friends for Christmas. Each of the ten cards in this set feature the tantalizing photo shown." Outside, the card says "Peace on Earth"; inside, it says "This season and throughout the year. Season's greetings."









There. Now I have done my own bit for Christmas commercialism -- and posted it on the first night of Chanukah, too. It's your turn, dear reader, to buy something from our sponsors. Just click on any of the links above and soon you'll have visions of sugar plums dancing in your head.

An "Honors" Honor

I feel complimented.

My long-ago piece called "A Moral Case for Christmas Commercialism" has been chosen as required reading for an Interdisciplinary Honors seminar taught by Professor Randy Campbell at Morningside College in Sioux City, Iowa.

That article, along with a piece by Stan Guthrie taking a contrary point of view, will be discussed in class on Thursday, November 29 -- just in time for the holidays.

Black Friday Approaches

The day after Thanksgiving is traditionally one of the most active shopping days of the year. The tradition is not new -- even Franklin D. Roosevelt recognized the importance of the day to the economy when he moved the date of Thanksgiving in order to expand the Christmas shopping season during the Great Depression. An article on the web site of the FDR Library and Museum explains (under the title, "The Year We Had Two Thanksgivings"):

At the beginning of Franklin Roosevelt's presidency, Thanksgiving was not a fixed holiday; it was up to the President to issue a Thanksgiving Proclamation to announce what date the holiday would fall on. However, Thanksgiving was always the last Thursday in November because that was the day President Abraham Lincoln observed the holiday when he declared Thanksgiving a national holiday in 1863. Franklin Roosevelt continued that tradition, but he soon found that tradition was difficult to keep in extreme circumstances such as the Great Depression. His first Thanksgiving in office, 1933, fell on November 30th, the last day of the month, because November had five Thursdays that year. Since statistics showed that most people did not do their Christmas shopping until after Thanksgiving, business leaders feared they would lose money, especially during the Depression, because there were only 24 shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas. They asked Franklin Roosevelt to make Thanksgiving one week earlier. President Roosevelt ignored those concerns in 1933, but when Thanksgiving once again threatened to fall on the last day of November in 1939, FDR reconsidered the request and moved the date of Thanksgiving up one week. Thanksgiving 1939 would be held, President Roosevelt proclaimed, on November 23rd and not November 30th.

Changing the date of Thanksgiving seemed harmless enough, but in actuality proved quite controversial. It was so upsetting that thousands of letters poured into the White House once President Roosevelt announced the date change. Some retailers were pleased because they hoped the extra week of Christmas shopping would increase profits, but smaller businesses complained they would lose business to larger stores. Other companies that depended on Thanksgiving as the last Thursday of November lost money; calendar makers were the worst hit because they printed calendars years in advance and FDR made their calendars out of date for the next two years. Schools were also disrupted by Roosevelt's decision; most schools had already scheduled vacations and annual Thanksgiving Day football games by the time they learned of Thanksgiving's new date and had to decide whether or not to reschedule everything. Moreover, many Americans were angry that Roosevelt tried to alter such a long-standing tradition and American values just to help businesses make more money.*

As opposition grew, some states took matters into their own hands and defied the Presidential Proclamation. Some governors declared November 30th as Thanksgiving. And so, depending upon where one lived, Thanksgiving was celebrated on the 23rd and the 30th.

While "Black Friday" -- a term that seems to date to the 1970s -- has the reputation of being the busiest shopping day of the year, various sources (snopes.com and Wikipedia, among others) note that in recent years, the Saturday before Christmas has taken the title, while the Friday after Thanksgiving is much farther down the list, ranking between the fourth and eighth busiest, depending on the year.

What is more important is that Black Friday tends to be the day on which most retail businesses switch from red ink to black ink on their account books. That is, up until the day after Thanksgiving, most of these businesses have not yet turned a profit, which they can then use to reward their investors or help grow the business for future years.

When the term "Black Friday" first entered the general lexicon, many retailers seemed embarrassed by it, since the term "black" is associated with things sinister, sad, and discomfiting. More recently, however, many businesses have embraced it.

For example, Amazon.com has set up a special web page for Black Friday purposes. Amazon has also created a widget that will update specials throughout the course of the day.

In response to what are perceived as the excesses of Black Friday, anti-consumer activists have created a movement called "Buy Nothing Day," which often involves street theatre, agitprop, and chanting as well as a decision not to purchase anything that day. The origins can be traced to about 15 years ago, according to the official "International Buy Nothing Day" organization:

what is now coming to be firmly known around the planet as the World Buy Nothing Day campaign traces to several initiatives, places and names. The first "No Shop Day" (as it was initially called) that we know of was started in 1992 as a personal initiative by Ted Dave, a Canadian who made his living by working in the advertising world. His idea was to organize a collective protest against the unrelenting calls to overconsume, with the advertising and marketing professions at the core. His original motto was: "Enough is enough!"

And now there is a response to the response. Two different Facebook "events" have appeared, created independently of each other, with tongue-in-cheek but also with a serious purpose in mind.

The first one I found is called "Buy Everything Day" and it explains itself thusly:

On November 23, scores of misguided people will send a message about consumerism by participating in Buy Nothing Day.

Buy Nothing Day likely attracts people of a certain philosophical and political persuasion (read: lefty, pro-worker, anti-corporate, etc, etc, etc); however, paradoxically, those disproportionately affected (theoretically, or course, if persuading the masses to stay out of the shops was possible) would be low-income hourly employees and not corporations.

The idea that consumption is a bad thing is, well, a bad thing. Consumption is inherently good, and buying stuff makes gives us jobs and makes our economy work.

And seriously, since you'll just make up for it the next day, what's the point? Therefore, I respectfully suggest you save up your pennies and on November 23, shop until you drop.

I thought the phrase "Buy Everything Day" was a bit hyperbolic, so I was pleased to find the more (to my mind, at least) modestly named "Buy Something Day," which originated in Sweden (yes, Virginia, there are free-market economic thinkers even in Sweden) and has clear and sustainable goals:

If people keep their money in their mattress, the economy will stagnate and stand still. When money's shifting owners, it creates synergical effects. Of course rich people will also benefit from money moving around - but ultimately, those who have less will gain more.

And fighting poverty must always come before opposing wealth.

Therefore - save what you must save for your family and yourself. But not for no reason. Spend the money you want to spend. When you keep your money in your wallet, you don't protest against Coca-Cola, McDonald's or Nestlé. They don't give a shit. You only protest against your local entrepreneurs and merchants. People who invest their lives in providing you with the stuff you want.

Every day should be the Buy Something Day.

(The date is, however, set to be in correspondence to the stupidest idea ever - at least since the death penalty and the European CAP - "Buy Nothing Day".)

Since the goals of each group are aligned with my own philosophy (see my article, "A Moral Case for Christmas Commercialism," which, I am told, has been "making the rounds of the Internet"), I signed up for both events. I hardly expect to be buying "everything" this Friday, but I do have my eye on at least one "something." As a matter of fact, I decided to put off a purchase until Friday just so I can do my bit. What I have in mind is a VCR/DVD recorder that I will use to archive the home movies my family made in the 1960s and 1970s (at least those that have already been converted to VHS).

Those of you who also want to play their part in "Buy Something Day" might just wander over to my Amazon.com wish list and pick out a Christmas gift for their favorite blogger.

Update: For news about Black Friday 2008 and new (but quirky) gift ideas, check out this Thanksgiving Day post.

Seasonal Silliness

Seeing the editorial pages of the Washington Times and Washington Post in agreement is a rare thing. Even rarer is to see an editorial on the same day, in the same location on the page, in each newspaper making the same point.

The issue in question was the decision by bureaucrats in Fairfax County, Virginia, to require that individuals and churches who feed the homeless must have health-department-approved, commercial-quality kitchens, or else be subject to civil penalties. The reasoning, apparently, was that it is better for people to go hungry than to risk food poisoning (as if the alternative, dumpster diving, is e coli-free).

Here's how the Washington Times put it in its December 1 editorial (titled "C'mon, Fairfax County"):

What's really happening here is the bureaucratization of charity. County officials have spotted inconsistent application of a law -- and they can't stand it. They see that churches and grandmas are allowed to donate below the regulatory radar, whereas others are not. So, per small minds and hobgoblins and all that, the Gradgrinds in Fairfax want the same rules to apply to everyone.

That's logically consistent, but unfriendly to spontaneous charity and common sense. The goal of homeless shelters continues to be a simple one: Feeding people who need to be fed. Let's not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Meanwhile, at the OP (that's what Timesers and old Washington Star scribes call the Washington Post, "the Other Paper"), news has reached the editorial writers that Fairfax has already reconsidered. The editorial ("Food Folly," also on December 1) said:

WHEN FAIRFAX officials tried to put the kibosh on donations of home-cooked food to homeless shelters, they didn't figure they would get egg on their faces. Thankfully, though, common sense prevailed, and a worthwhile program to help the homeless will be allowed to continue....

The policy was overturned when Gerald E. Connolly (D), chairman of the Board of Supervisors, recognized its absurdity. No doubt he did not relish that Fairfax had become a national laughingstock....

We have no doubt that the zealous officials in this case were well-intentioned. But it is worrisome that they didn't realize that the very thing they said they were protecting -- the public health -- was undermined by their actions....

Halfway across the country, in Chicago, city officials reached a supremely silly decision: Prohibiting the marketing of the new movie called "The Nativity Story" from the annual Christkindlmarket (that's "Christ child market" in German). The purported reason? Promoting a film with a religious theme is "too commercial" for a public space filled with vendors hawking trinkets, gifts, food, and Christmas decorations.

Here's what the Chicago Tribune editorial page had to say, calling the action "a clumsy attempt at political correctness":

The city refused to allow film clips from "The Nativity Story," a movie that depicts the biblical story of Mary, Joseph and the birth of Jesus. The filmmaker also was dropped as an event sponsor. Officials say the movie is too commercial.

Too commercial? In a downtown market where capitalism is in full throttle? That's like saying the Nativity display itself (and there is one, by the way, in the plaza) is too religious.

Veronica Resa, spokeswoman for the office of special events, told the Tribune earlier this week: "This particular incident is about a movie studio aggressively marketing a movie and trying to sell tickets to that movie."

Jim Law, the city's executive director of special events, initially called this a sensitivity issue for festival-goers. He said that showing scenes from the movie would be "insensitive to the many people of different faiths." That's people of different faiths who knowingly and willingly attend a traditional Christmas festival that includes carolers and a "holiday" tree, as well as an Islamic crescent and a Jewish menorah.

There are still 22 shopping days 'til Christmas. Stay tuned for more seasonal silliness. It's bound to happen.

Take Mr. Jefferson to Best Buy

This story is a month old, but it just came to my attention today.

Reported in the Baltimore Sun on March 8 and on WorldNetDaily yesterday, this is either a tale of the ignorance of retail cashiers or of the hysteria of post-9/11 America. Or both. Most likely both.

The gist is this, from WorldNetDaily:

A man trying to pay a fee using $2 bills was arrested, handcuffed and taken to jail after clerks at a Best Buy store questioned the currency's legitimacy and called police.

Baltimore Sun columnist Michael Olesker provided a few more details when he broke the story last month. It seems that Best Buy customer Mike Bolesta was told that the installation fee for his son's new car stereo had been waived because of a mix-up at the store. But soon afterward, he was threatened with legal action if he did not pay the fee. A bit miffed, Bolesta decided to pay the whole invoice with two-dollar bills -- you know, the ones with Thomas Jefferson's portrait on the front and, in the Bicentennial version, an engraving of the signing of the Declaration of Independence on the back.

These bills might be rare in Baltimore, but in Charlottesville they are readily recognizable. Mr. Jefferson's home at Monticello routinely gives them out in change to the tourists who visit there.

Bolesta uses the $2 bills in his business. Olesker continues the story:

With his Capital City Student Tours, he arranges class trips for school kids around the country traveling to large East Coast cities, including Baltimore. He's been doing this for the last 18 years. He makes all the arrangements: hotels, meals, entertainment. And it's part of his schtick that, when Bolesta hands out meal money to students, he does it in $2 bills, which he picks up from his regular bank, Sun Trust.

"The kids don't see that many $2 bills, so they think this is the greatest thing in the world," Bolesta says. "They don't want to spend 'em. They want to save 'em. I've been doing this since I started the company. So I'm thinking, 'I'll stage my little comic protest. I'll pay the $114 with $2 bills.'"

At Best Buy, however, the Jefferson dollars might as well have been euros or rupees -- or Monopoly money. The staff thought they were fake, and brought in the feds to settle the matter.

Olesker continues:

He remembers the cashier marking each bill with a pen. Then other store personnel began to gather, a few of them asking, "Are these real?"

"Of course they are," Bolesta said. "They're legal tender."

A Best Buy manager refused comment last week. But, according to a Baltimore County police arrest report, suspicions were roused when an employee noticed some smearing of ink. So the cops were called in. One officer noticed the bills ran in sequential order.

* * *

Bolesta was then taken to the county police lockup in Cockeysville, where he sat handcuffed to a pole and in leg irons while the Secret Service was called in.

"At this point," he says, "I'm a mass murderer."

Finally, Secret Service agent Leigh Turner arrived, examined the bills and said they were legitimate, adding, according to the police report, "Sometimes ink on money can smear."

This will be important news to all concerned.

For Baltimore County police, said spokesman Bill Toohey, "It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world."

I like Best Buy. I've bought lots of electronic equipment there, and lots of DVDs and CDs. Despite the stupidity of their Baltimore branch, I expect I will continue to shop at Best Buy. (The new one here in Charlottesville is an amazing beacon of free enterprise, especially when you see it at night while traveling west on the 250 Bypass.)

Still, I think the next time I plan to buy something at Best Buy, I'm going to fill my wallet with two dollar bills and pay in cash.

I urge all Best Buy customers to do the same. Take Mr. Jefferson with you on your next trip.

A Moral Case for Christmas Commercialism

Back in 1995, I wrote the following article to point out that "commercialism" during the holiday season is not something to be derided or avoided. The article was published in a surprisingly large number of newspapers across the United States, including in the Richmond Times-Dispatch and Las Vegas Review-Journal on Christmas Eve (December 24, 1995).

A few years later, I was invited to appear on a Canadian radio program called "Cross Country Check-Up" to discuss my article. At the urging of my friend, Steve Foerster, I revised the article slightly and re-syndicated it, making sure to bring certain pop-culture references up-to-date and changing some of the examples I used to illustrate my argument. Once again, several U.S. newspapers picked it up.

So, every three or four years, I tweak the article a bit and send it out to see who uses it. Most recently, in December 2003, the article appeared in the Madison Times in Wisconsin. That version of the article can be seen here. (It was found by local Charlottesville video artist Alexandria Searls when she googled her own name a few months later, who brought it to the attention of City Councilor Rob Schilling, who in turn told me about it.)

Here is the original, 1995, version of "A Moral Case for Christmas Commercialism":

(ARLINGTON, Va.) --- Around this time of year, we routinely hear complaints about the "excessive commercialism" of Christmas. People complain about the barrage of advertising, the crowded malls, the rush of retailers to have the earliest holiday displays.

Some complaints run deeper, of course. They reflect our fear that carnal desires are outstripping our quest for a wholesome soul. "To perceive Christmas through its wrapping," said E. B. White, "becomes more difficult with every year."

Such complaints are not new, of course. They have been voiced for generations. Nearly forty years ago, adman Stan Freberg skewered his colleagues on Madison Avenue with the devastating musical satire, "Green Chri$tma$," famous for lines like "Deck the halls with advertising; now's the time for merchandising." Generations earlier, the Puritan rulers of Massachusetts prohibited the celebration of Christmas in reaction to the excesses of the colonists.

Perhaps the most trenchant criticism of Christmas commercialism is the one that suggests that immoderate eating and drinking, buying and selling — what Thorstein Veblen called "conspicuous consumption" — divert us from the needs of those less fortunate, and indeed (put most starkly) steal food from the mouths of the poor.

These criticisms often accompany the appeals we receive each December, solicitations to give our time or money to voluntary organizations that house the homeless, clothe the naked, teach the ignorant, cure the ill, or feed the hungry. Such organizations are the backbone of a free and compassionate society, for they perform the corporal works of mercy that many of us, in our busy daily lives, are unable to perform individually. They deserve our support.

We need to address, however, the message of guilt implied in these appeals. Sometimes it is not so implicit. Last Sunday at church, I heard a sermon that specifically condemned our consumerism — not only at Christmas, but year round — as an assault on the poor. Conspicuous consumption becomes, in a word, a sin.

Let's consider this for a moment, because I want to make the case stated so succinctly by the philosopher Maimonides: "Anticipate charity by preventing poverty."

Simply remember that every time you buy a Christmas gift — a toy, a CD- player, a spice rack, a hunting rifle — you are helping to pay someone's wages. Millions of such purchases, made every day in the Christmas-shopping season, keep factories open, keep workers employed, keep families fed.

Think about who depends on Christmas to make a living. Santa and his elves, of course -- but also all of their "helpers" around the world. There are the printers of gift catalogues; postal workers and UPS drivers who deliver packages; loggers who cut the trees to make the paper for holiday cards and wrapping paper; turkey farmers and cranberry growers ... the list is literally endless.

Take this example: Because shops are open extra hours and must deal with many more customers this time of year, they hire extra help. Many part-time sales clerks during the holidays are college and high school students earning money to help pay their tuition and expenses. Without that money, some of them would have to drop out of school altogether. The fresh-faced girl behind the cash register at the Hallmark store could win the Nobel prize in chemistry in 2045 — or perhaps not, if low sales cause her to be laid off.

Imagine, for a moment, who benefits from your purchase of a woolen sweater. The wool came from sheep raised by a shepherd in the mountains of Nevada. The raw wool was processed into yarn at a textile mill in North Carolina. Dyes came from a chemical plant in Michigan. The yarn was woven into a sweater at a factory in Ohio. A trucker from Idaho drove the finished product to a distribution center in Colorado. There it was packaged and sent to stores around the country, where stockboys and sales clerks bring it to the ultimate purchaser. How many individuals earn a living from that single sweater? How many communities avert poverty because you, the individual shopper, choose to buy it?

This argument is not meant merely to assuage our guilt about "conspicuous consumption." It states the case that commerce, by creating wealth and eliminating poverty, has a substantial moral – even spiritual – component. Creating wealth makes charity – those corporal works of mercy -- possible. As Margaret Thatcher once noted, "No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions. He had money as well."

Charity to those who cannot care for themselves is good. Giving them the means to care for themselves is better. Best of all is to engage in commerce: buying the goods they provide for a mutually agreeable price. This prevents poverty and trims the lists of the needy at Christmas and always.

Three cheers for Christmas commercialism! And Happy Holidays!